He was part of our identity—all of Marin really, but mostly
those of us that went to school with him. I went to school with him but we
weren’t friends or buddies. He was friends with my friends and I knew who he was because I
knew who everyone was; he might have known who I was—we never talked about it
later. And later he worked with my boyfriend in Sausalito, and after that I
became a good friend of his brother Todd. We knew each other. He was Toads little
brother and I was Cable Car Katie, a name Todd gave me since that was my usual
mode of transportation. We didn’t hang out unless we were both visiting Todd at
his bar on Chestnut Street in the Marina. And then, we were quiet, polite, and
probably thirsty. I waited on him when I
was a waitress in Sausalito. I left him alone- and he appreciated it. He was an
introvert when he wasn’t being an extrovert.
I was in a management class about 20 years ago in Livermore,
California. I might as well have been a 1000 miles away from Marin it was so
different there. The terrain, the people, the smell… nothing was the same. The man
who was facilitating the class asked all of us to write down something that
most people didn’t know about us. I
never write anything of consequence when asked to do this because if people don’t
know things about you they probably shouldn’t—so I wrote down I WENT TO SCHOOL WITH
ROBIN WILLIAMS.
When we read them aloud, the facilitator’s head snapped to
me… and he said, “That’s what I wrote too.”
He had gone to College of Marin with Robin; I had gone to
Redwood High with him.
Marin County has had many stars, a lot of favorite sons and
daughters. Some spent only a short time here and we claim them anyway… like
greedy little grubbers who want all the credit for other people’s success. Writers, musicians and actors often find Marin
County amenable to their needs. We don’t chase after them or ask for
autographs, sometimes we nod, but mostly we let them alone and maybe that is
the attraction.
Robin always had a melancholy layer just below the surface.
If you ever met him, you would know that. And like many people that suffer from
depression, reason escaped him, logical thought was stuck in some deep dark
pocket of his brain and what surfaced was the last resort, the last decision he
would ever have to make.
He was part of our identity—in some weird subconscious way.
So the fallout of his demise – his purposeful leap to the next world, has been
hard. It’s taken a toll on so many people – some that never met him but loved
him for his art. And those of us that knew him, though not well, we are left
with an empty feeling, and ask, “How could you leave this soon?”
He’ll be part of the Redwood High Memorial Wall now, a wall
I was just reading all the names on last week. I was thinking I should add my
little brother and now there is one more, and College of Marin’s Memorial Wall too. Maybe
they’ll have a plaque at some bar he went to once or twice, and the along the
Dipsea Trail. He won't be forgotten anytime soon-- but what killed him will be, it always is.
I wish, I know we all do, that he would have picked up a phone.
Beautifully said Katie. I sure hope some how, some way, this opens the door for people to get help; for people to be more aware of depression and not judge it as a weakness to overcome. His departure is devastating.
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