The Gift of Compassion

 If the holidays remind us of one thing only, it should be the gift of compassion. In the last year I have known so many people who have had catastrophic events happen and for the most part instead of running with their tails between their legs, they faced these events with grace and came out the other end - with the gift of compassion.

There, but for the Grace of God, go I. I probably heard that 9 million times before I understood it. I understood it completely when a fellow Marine mom shared the Marine’s had come to her door, and her son would never hug her again.

She was full of grace. I knew I could never be like her. I would have been full of anger and I don’t even know what else. Hate- I suppose.

But that was the first time I fully understood that expression. Sadly, it was repeated more times than I could count. It’s what I said to myself every time I saw a another loss.

I’m not at all religious, I say Happy Hanukah as much as I say Merry Christmas. Or I say Merri Kirasumasu because I like the way it sounds. Happy Holidays works just fine for me- because to me it’s all about the spirit of giving. It’s more than one holiday, it’s several throughout the month. A month of good things if we do it right.

For me, it’s not about shopping either. I have given up joining the herds of people at Macy’s (Open 48 hours straight this year up until Christmas Eve.) Toys R Us and all the other must get to their sales, locations. I'll shop a little- but I won't kill myself or go broke to get it all done.

I like to use this time of year to remember (and try to help when I can)  those less fortunate than myself. I don’t mean necessarily poorer-although that too- but people who have no love in their life. People who live in fear. People who are sick- either physically or mentally. People who have lost their way. People who have forgotten what happiness is. People who have not shared a smile with someone. People, who for whatever reason have not seen or heard from their families and loved ones- these are the people I think about during the holidays.

In a year where we heard so much divisiveness, where everyone hated everyone else for thinking differently, looking differently, praying to a different God, I wondered if we would ever stop the hate long enough to celebrate the wonders of the holiday’s. I hope we have -maybe some of the wounds will heal.

HOLIDAYS- they belong to everyone.

The gift of compassion is the best gift you can give someone. It costs you nothing- and pays huge dividends.  Smile at the cashier (especially at Macy’s during their shopathon.) 

Be kind to restaurant and hotel employees who won’t have any days off between now and Christmas, and many will work Christmas too.  (If you even think of not tipping during the holidays just stay home.) Be kind to your grocery clerks- you have no idea what their life is like during the holidays. Be kind to your co-workers, employees and business associates. Be kind to your family- and be kind to yourself.  Ask people how they are and wait for their answer. Listen to them.

We never know what is going on in someone’s life. The homeless, scruffy –bearded, tattooed 27 year -old standing on a corner with a far-away stare might be a homeless Iraq or Afghanistan war veteran. Don’t presume anything. He may not be some bum that should just “get a job.”  There but for the Grace of God, go I.

We don’t know what happened to some of these people who have lost everything- including their dignity. Maybe it was drugs, alcohol, chemical imbalance, death, war, destruction- or just life.

Compassion is what we owe each other as human beings and what we so often lack. It takes a minute. Just a minute to smile at someone.

So every December, a particularly hard month for me due to several losses. I try to find the good. I don’t always succeed. Not every minute of everyday. But I think with every passing year I inch a little closer to the compassion we should have for one another. 

The hard thing for me-while I seek compassion, I lose tolerance for those who have none. Maybe I’ll just keep repeating- There but for the Grace of God go I.

Merri Kirasumasu ~ Happy Hanukah ~Assalamu Alaikum  (Peace Upon You)